To Fail Is To Succeed. At Life.

Posted on Posted in Anxiety, happiness, Life

In our world that exists over on the book of Faces, Instagram and media in general there is a big expectation that we be happy. And perfect. Perfectly happy?

Of course, we all want to be happy. However, because we are exposed to most people’s ‘highlights’ and not their struggle or their failings (who wants to broadcast those, right) it is all too easy to assume that everyone else has it together or has it easy, everyone except us.

We all know that is not really true when we apply logic to it, yet media combined with our own fragile self portrayal becomes extremely successful at infiltrating our non-logic brain and creating anxiety and insecurities.

And then we see something inspirational, we receive a newsletter email (hi!) telling us we can do it and we get pumped. YES!! THIS TIME I WILL DO IT!!!

And you know this bit, the deciding to … get fit, lose weight, start a business, detox, save money… is the EASY bit.

Think about it, how many times have you felt so pumped about achieving something after seeing a video or a message…only to find 7 days in…it’s all been forgotten. All that enthusiasm has most definitely fizzled out!

The reason is that the HARD part of implementing change in yourself and your life is to keep going when it gets… boring, requires effort…to keep going when it gets uncomfortable.

It becomes too hard when the very real possibility of FAILING becomes all too apparent.

And so we stop. We give up. We have all the excuses to give ourselves ready to go…

“life is too short”. “I tried..” “I’m too busy right now”. “I am not good enough”. “I don’t know what/how to do”

So here’s the thing. If you are not failing you are not trying.  If you are failing at things, know that you are in fact SUCCEEDING … because it means you are out there giving something a go.

“It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.”  Mark Manson.

The ONLY time failure becomes a failing is when you don’t learn from what you did and do something differently next time!

Other than that you can stand up tall and know that you are growing, you are moving, YOU ARE LIVING.

Now, on not knowing what to do.

I have been there, paralysed because I don’t know what to do or how to do something. And so I have done nothing and that becomes just another excuse.

If you don’t know – seek out information, read books, find people who can help you.

However, one simple thing you can do right now, if you want to change something about your life that you don’t like, is begin by taking a look at what you are doing day to day…and do the opposite! This is exactly where you are required to take 100% responsibility for where you are right now.

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices we make … and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility”  Eleanor Roosevelt 

Remaining small, hiding away, ignoring the ‘problem’ that is the failing in us. That is when we have stopped. And to stop is not to live.

The HARD part is to keep going. To keep choosing. It’s to say no. It’s to say yes. It’s to know your why. It’s to identify the pain and fear and face it – generally it will not be as bad as you think. It’s to break down your goal and do a little bit each and every day day. It’s to accept the no’s. The backward steps. The falling over. And it’s getting back up. It’s asking the next person. It’s about moving forward – no matter how slowly.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

It doesn’t matter what has gone before or where you are right now. Simply start. Today.

You totally got this.

 

JO xx

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