Learned Helplessness Part 2

Posted on Posted in Anxiety, happiness, Health, Life, Self Love, Tips & Advice

I wanted to do a quick follow up on some ways to see where, in your life, you might be falling victim to learned helplessness.

Anytime or anywhere that you have a problem – a problem being something that you feel negatively about, complain about or wish it were different.

And if you are stuck on changing that problem,challenge, issue (find your word that fits) because you ‘don’t know’ or think you ‘can’t’ – that is learned helplessness.

And possibly elements of fear and, hmmm, laziness too. But ultimately is still learned helplessness. ‘you can’t’, ‘you’ll never be able to…’, ‘you are not clever enough’ keeps us sitting in the same place, complaining about the same stuff.

You know?

***I have said it before, and this is probably a good time to say it again – inquire of yourself, acknowledge and see where this is you….but NO judgement on yourself. You are human, with a human mind – you are not a robot!! You will have been conditioned in your life. We all have!***

OK. So if you are stuck and you are not doing anything to get out it – because you think you cant or don’t know how to – recognise this as learned helplessness and understand this can be UNLEARNED.

It’s simple…but not easy.

We live in a world where we have access to incredible amounts of data and information and if you don’t know something then you can go and find it out.

Google it.

Let’s say you would like to create financial security. And you are ‘only’ earning XXX and you can’t see a way to save or invest based on your income and outgoings. That’s a pretty common situation.
You might say, or you might know someone who says (I have said this before!) that you can’t and don’t know how to change the situation. There is no way…

Now that bit is great – first step is recognising there is a problem.

If you stop there, however, you are simply believing that you have no way to remove yourself from a negative situation. Learned helplessness.

And so to unlearn you gotta get out there and get some knowledge about whatever it is you want and need to know to change your situation.
The obvious one might be to get another job…but in today’s world there are literally thousand of ways you can learn to make money.
Investing. Stocks. Property. Starting a business. Driving an Uber. Getting a room out on Air BnB. Get a mentor. Go to a course. Invest in a program.

With the internet you can start a business with almost zero outlay initially. Think back 50 years – if you wanted to start a business to increase your income you had to have bricks and mortar and stock…and then a lot of hope and luck! If you didn’t have the capital you were stuck.

We have the power, quite literally, in our palms to go and UNLEARN what is keeping us stuck.

If your challenge is loneliness and wanting a relationship (again something I have struggled with) what to do? Sit at home wishing it were different? (Think back to the dog getting shocked!)
Again today we have so many options to connect to people and get out and meet people. We must UNLEARN that we are destined to be alone. That no one will want us. That we can’t or don’t know how.

I thought a good example of this is when we arrived in Melbourne a few weeks ago, we jumped into a cab. I told them my destination and they said ‘how do I get there?’ Now, this is pretty common – right? – and I know Melbourne so it wasn’t a major problem. However. Is there an excuse for someone who’s profession is getting people from A to B to not know how to do it? Today – no, no there isn’t! Google Maps. Buy a GPS. Study an A-Z and learn the city!
This is learned helplessness.

Accepting that we don’t know how to change a problem we have and doing nothing about it.

If you are reading this and that little voice is saying…’well anything except HELL YES!!! then you are still in learned helplessness.

You must be prepared to
Abandon what you believe to be true.
Abandon your need to be right.
Abandon your excuses. They are learned helplessness.

And get out of your own way.
And you can; it’s a choice.
You have got this.

It’s Simple. But not easy.

It really doesn’t matter how old you are. What your background is. Where you grew up. What car you drive. What level of education you have.

This life is all about YOU. And we are living right now in a time where we can do just about anything if we want it enough. Barriers to education have come down. You can literally google anything!

And then, the final piece of this, is you really have to be ready and prepared to invest in yourself.

Whether it be time – get off Netflix and spend your evening learning something.
Money – you can a lot of stuff for free today – start there, but at some point when you want to go further you will need to invest in yourself. And really what better commodity to invest in than you?!
Effort a lot of this stuff is simple….but it’s not easy.


Jo xx

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